You Mean, You Really Need To Know This?

No doubt, if you have email and Facebook, you all get these at some time or another — the "What's your favorite color?" and "What stripper name would you like?" questions — the running lists of trivial information that your friends and relatives just cannot live without knowing. Since this information is never sensitive, and I believe that a total stranger will be just as disinterested in my results as any of those close to me, I've decided to post all questions and answers to my blog from here on out. This may include warts and all, as in, font color and size changes, random italicization, and the crappiest grammar EVER. So, here is the maiden ship voyage of the U.S.S. Information (Useless Suzanne Sarah Information):

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends. Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!! Just copy (not forward) this entire email and paste into a new e-mail that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person that sent it to you...'Tis the Season to be NICE!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? the lesser of a choking hazard

2. Real tree or Artificial? neither, prefer "New Car" scent

3. When do you put up the tree? every time I get a car wash, yearly

4. When do you take the tree down? ❆ see answer #3

5. Do you like eggnog? If it's got brandy in it, I don't like it, I LOVE IT.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? my 135 IQ score

7. Hardest person to buy for? my overly analytical, 135 scoring self

8. Easiest person to buy for? Not people … dogs; cripes, they eat poo!

9. Do you have a nativity scene? The dogs have a scene every day.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? No! My stamps!

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? poo from the dogs

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? π

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I shop for Jesus all year.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? ❆ see answer #11

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? crow

17. Favorite Christmas song? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wH2umxtA_sc

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? By all means, please travel ... far away from me.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Dokken, Dashboard, Pacecar, Viagra, Cometh, Cuspid, Dunder, Blintzes, and Rudolph Giuliani

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? rearview mirror (❆ see answers #3 & #4)

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Who cares, when you have egg-schlog? *hic*

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? cleaning up, not clearing out

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? dead opossum

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? ❆ see answers #15 & #23, braised

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? world peas (if exists, probably at Trader Joe’s)

26. Who is most likely to respond? Me. Duh! Though why, I have no clue.